4 Simple Mantras for Alleviating Perfectionism

I didn’t realize I struggled with perfectionism until only relatively recently — even though, back in 2008, one of my graduate school professors pointed it out. “You’re a perfectionist,” she declared, after I noticed a small stain on the front of the shirt I was wearing and had to change it before attending her seminar.

As Psychology Today reports: “Perfectionism is driven primarily by internal pressures, such as the desire to avoid failure or harsh judgment. Signs that someone is a perfectionist can look like: unrealistically high expectations; a quickness to find fault and be overly critical of mistakes; procrastination on a project out of fear of failure; shrugging off compliments; and forgetting to celebrate success. Instead, perfectionists look to specific people in their life for approval and validation.”

Growing up, there was only one way to do anything — from organizing drawers and cleaning mirrors to buying and wrapping gifts. It was either our mother’s way or no way way at all because it was “her house.” Doing things “the wrong way” inflamed our mother’s erroneous sense of injustice.

One year, after our regular, Christmas ritual of a shared meal at the rarely used dining room table with all of the saved-for-special-occasions silverware, seasonal dishes and glassware, I awoke early, padded downstairs into…