How to Have a Rewarding Relationship with Anyone in 7 Steps

1. Be open, and willing.

Look up and out of your phone.
If you make eye contact, say “Hello” to the person in line beside you at the grocery store, or sitting across from you on the subway.

Once initial contact has been made, take a risk by being vulnerable — share a joke; tell an embarrassing story about yourself; express your proclivities as in: what movies you like, the authors you follow, the music you rock out to in your car, etc.

And then, demonstrate authentic curiosity by asking about the other. Such as: What do they like to do with their spare time? How is their family? (Don’t ask what they do for a living. This question has run its course.)

Along the way though, be aware of body language and what isn’t being said. If this person seems more interested in scrolling through their phone, if they only give one word answers in response to your questions, and if s/he/they do not demonstrate any honest interest in knowing you (by asking questions about you) then move on. This person is demonstrating, in this moment, that they are unavailable to be known by you (for now. This could change, so long as you respect this other’s autonomy and give them space.)