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The Gift of Freedom: What My Choosing to Live in Love (with Burt Lo) Gave Me
Our egos — at least mine — don’t necessarily want liberation. Our ego serves to protect us. Anything new and unfamiliar is not known to be safe. Thus, our egos may work against us — especially when we need them to be working for us. Take me as an example.
I spent at least twenty years actively denying and then avoiding others who wished to bestow me with the unconditional love that my own parents couldn’t give. Yes, I and my siblings, were well taken care of. We had our own rooms in a large, suburban home; were well fed; and were provided with plenty of clothing and shoes, along with extracurricular activities and vacation time at exciting locations. However, we were also raised by two people who still choose to remain firmly fixed in their pain bodies.
Growing up, our home was a place where vulnerability was frowned upon. Physical punishments, like hair pulling, face slapping and leather belt beatings, were the norm. Daily fear was used as a means of control. Bruises fade though. It was the emotional abuse that has been the hardest to heal. Spilled milk and unwashed dishes could prompt eruptions, “You no-good-for-nothing, lazy lout!”
For decades, our long-standing family “joke” had been to retell the story from an April Fool’s Day of many years past. It was a day when my innocent siblings and I were…
